Break-in in Turin: Satanists or Ebay?

A thief or thieves broke into the Church of the Great Mother of God in Turin, Italy last week and took two so-called holy relics from behind the altar: a crystal sphere containing holy water and a prayer book called a missal, which contains all the prayers for mass and from psalms. Okay… the missal really isn’t a relic being only 20 years old.

From the article, Turin police have said that the thefts were most likely “stolen to be used in a rite of black magic.” The hypothesis is that the items are symbolic only and have no intrinsic value, but the missal would could be used in a “black mass.”

The padre that runs the church, Sandro Menzio, feels that the break-in was professional since the thief/thieves knew just which door to enter and how to circumvent the alarm.

Professional thieving satanists. Right.

Since there really is no evidence of organized, criminal Satanism in the world (Anton LeVay doesn’t count), if there were “Satanists” involved, they were every bit as deluded about superstitious beliefs perpetrated by the Catholic church as orthodox church goers. Its unlikely that “professionals” would bother with such juvenile silliness but possible I suppose.

The more likely, more parsimonious explanation is that someone stole items they figured wouldn’t be missed. Someone that knows the church, perhaps has routine access. Someone with an Ebay account where they might hope to unload the items. The Ebay link is to a page of “holy relics” (that was the search parameter I used) found for sale. And the Catholic church is hopping mad over sales of “holy relics” on Ebay, prompting them to set up a “boycottebay” website and inundate Ebay with letters of protest at sales of Eucharist wafers and other superstitious crap.

And Ebay apparently caved and pulled many auctions, vowing not to permit future such sales of “highly sacred” items.

And, just to be silly, here’s the nuttiest Ebay Auction I’ve seen in quite some time. Found under the “holy relic” search, you can be the proud owner of a “New Holy Relic made unknowingly by many hands and machines that god dwells within and about and thusly made by god!!!” Here’s a snippet of the description:

This amazing piece of unintentional found natural art says it all. The whole Da Vinci Code story right in the natural wood grain of this cabinet door as can be seen in the pix.. As you can see at the bottom of the door is the origins, the sun as in the sun worshippers from whom the worshippers of the eternal feminine sprang. She is represented by the nude with no head, feet or hands above the sun. Above her the V grail sign that is her sign as the embodiment of Jesus’ counterpart, Yin to his Yang. This is so prominent in the Da Vinci code Story. She’s headless of course to symbolizes mans domination of the feminine, she also has no feet or hands as her actions are controlled by the masculine. Only her body is left to bear the fruit of the womb with which she wields and regains her power in myriad ways.

The seller adds that you can take the whole cabinet for a mere $50,000 starting bid! It might have healing powers, but the seller offers no guarantees!

Oh, did I mention the seller has 100% positive feed back? Hurry! Bidding ends Jan 31st.

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